What’s going on with me?

I am happy, and for some reason that bothers me. I’m used to being upset during fall. I have literally never had a fall/winter that I’ve been happy during. I haven’t even been put on my meds this year because I’ve been fine. Every once in awhile I have a spell where I get all depressed, but then I’m fine in the morning. It scares me. Because this is not normal for me. I know it sounds bad that I say it’s not normal that I’m not depressed, but it’s true. I’m so happy with my life. I’m content. I could stay like this. I really could. I mean I know life has a tendency to throw curveballs, especially when you’re happy, but this is the one time I hope it doesn’t. There’s something about us, that makes this all feel right. I’m going to start posting things I’m thankful for, in honor of Thanksgiving. 🙂

Since yesterday was the first I’m going to post two of them today.

1: I’m thankful for my parents because they are there for me when I need them and even when I don’t think I do.

2. I’m thankful for sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

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Haunted Houses and Spooks

So, I went to a Haunted House for the first time. (Yes, I’m 18 and never been to one.) Anyways, we went to one with my sister, her boyfriend, my nephew, and my sister’s boyfriend’s brother. Before we even went in I told them that I was terrified of clowns. Well, of course the lady over the haunted house was gonna lie to me about there being clowns. We’re walking through there and come across this room and I immediately say “I don’t like this room.” We keep on walking and I almost walked past the clown until they started pushing me towards it and I FREAKED! I started trying to climb up my sister’s boyfriend like he was a tree. He’s like 6’3” and I’m 5’4”, so I know you can imagine how funny that would’ve been. Well, we walked mostly because I was pushing them. I was screaming I hate you I hate you. Then we come across a Midget Clown with a knife. They stop and the other clown thought it would be funny to follow me and he ran into me. I was panicking. Finally we reached the end and I was still saying how much I hated everyone.

 

And that my friends is how my first Haunted House experience went.

efff me..

I have a research paper due in the morning. It’s already midnight. I have no clue how to write said research paper. I’m not sure how long it has to be because I can’t remember. I’m gonna fail. Oh Boy oh boy! This sucks so much.

Anyways, I’m scared. I have to tell Daylan something and I know he won’t like it. I have to tell Whitney something and I know it’ll break her heart. No, I’m not cheating on Daylan with Mark or anyone else. It’s just Mark.. well. Let’s just say Daylan will want to kick his ass. 

4 Rules of Life

I’ve been reading a book about a college baseball player and his girlfriend. I absolutely love the trust that they have for each other. They love each other no matter their past and pretty much no matter what. I mean they don’t let distance get in between them or nothing.

Her 4 Rules for Life:

1. Don’t lie.

2. Don’t cheat.

3. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

4. Forgive.

 

This makes me think about my own output on life and how similar it is to me and Daylan. We don’t see each other everyday, but we are always so excited when we can. We talk or text every day. We’re lucky to see each other on the weekends. BUT we trust each other. I know if he goes out with his friends that nothing is going to happen. I have talked to him on the phone while he was drunk out with his friends and he kept telling me how much he loves me and how much he doesn’t want to lose me. It’s so difficult for me to trust guys, considering my past. But just like I trust him I know he trusts me. I don’t want to do anything to break that trust. I hang out with Mark and he and I both know that nothing is going to happen. That’s what I love so much about him. We’re honest to each other no matter the distance between us. But honestly, that’s what scares me the most. I’ve never had this much trust in anyone since Tanner.  But I honestly believe in this one.

 

Mood: Perfectly Comfy.

Quote of the Day: Every ending is a new beginning.

 

I survived, but barely.

I survived last week. Even after all my ranting and raving! Look at me go! I have seriously almost gotten into four wrecks within the past few days. Twice today! I feel exhausted and worn out. I guess I sound like the typical college student. I don’t know. I just know I’m tired and grumpy. Could be cause it’s a Monday I guess. Either way, I do  have a few things to be happy about.

My cousin’s baseball team made it to State, and I am either going to go watch him or go to the Kip Moore/Love and Theft concert thursday. Friday given that he makes it that far I will go watch him again. Saturday, well me and the boyfriend will find something to do we always do. We went and watched Gravity this weekend and absolutely hated it. Sorry for anyone who wants to watch it, but I hated it. He was fuming the whole time anyways cause we wanted to watch another movie and they wouldn’t let him in. (he’s under 17 for the next two weeks. poor baby.) I’m trying to find me some crafts or something to do. My SADD is coming back and well, it’s coming rather quickly and I know if I keep myself busy it won’t be as bad. My dog sugar had puppies. 8 little boxers/pits. They are so cute! I love them to pieces.

 

Peace out boy scout!

Enjoy some pics!

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Random Collage of me and Day! (The icons are because it was my lockscreen.)

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My two favorite boys! Daylan and Ranger!

 

 

 

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Sugar!

 

 

 

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Going to one of Day’s Football games!

 

 

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School.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Me and Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ranger when he was a baby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My fish I caught. Ignore my ratchetness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ranger likes to pose with momma.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My proud Mommy.

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I get bored

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The babies!

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And last but not least…

one of the cutest things I have ever seen!

RANT!

I am sick and tired of being told when I have to be home and blah blah. I am 18 years old. I have never lied to my parents about where I am or what I’m doing. I tell them everything. They have no reason not to trust me. It’s ridiculous.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I go to class. I get out at 12 every day. Me and my friend Mark, who they know and say they trust, go to eat. After we eat we go to the library or the Student Union and do homework. Sometimes it takes me until later in the day and sometimes I get done about 2 or 3. It just depends on how that day was. I have never lied to them. And YET My mother still calls me asking me where I am and thinks that I’m lying to her about where I am. It’s ridiculous. Oh and did I mention that I can never do homework at home because my mother takes up the computer? Yeah, ALL THE TIME! She’s always got homework to do. Well, you’re not the only one!

Every Tuesday or Thursday, I am either at home sitting on the computer playing games. Because A) I’m the only person there close to my age. B) I’ve watched all our movies a billion times. C) Well, I could clean my room. Either way, I AM home then. If I’m not there, which I normally am, I’m at Adrianne’s or here lately my cousin’s baseball games.

Some Friday nights I go to my boyfriend’s football games. Also not lying about where I’m at. I enjoy to watch him play ball. I like to be a supportive girlfriend.

Every Saturday and sometimes Sundays, I see Daylan (My boyfriend). We can’t really see each other in the week because we’re both busy. He has football practice, and like I said, I’m doing homework. We try not to be late. We always go exactly where we tell them and we always text them when we are leaving. So there’s no reason not to trust us, I know we’re teenagers but still. I have NEVER lied to them! I mean gosh dang. Out of all of their kids, I’m the best behaved!

Most Sundays, I go to church. Then guess what? I sit at home and watch movies and lay around! Surprise Surprise. No freaking wonder I don’t want to be home! I’ve been forced to be there since I was little! Jeez.

I don’t know what to do about it! I’ve told them and told them where I’m at and what I’m doing and they don’t believe me when they should!

HELP!

Sorry!

I apologize for not writing more. I’ve been so busy. I’ve been having boyfriend troubles, cat problems, vehicle issues, and everything else. My summer is slowly coming to a close before school starts, college starts Aug. 19th. Boyfriend and I have been having some major troubles, and I honestly can’t even tell you if he’s my boyfriend or not right now. He says he wants a break and that we should be friends for a little while at least until we get settled into college and what-not. Honestly, I can understand that. But I don’t understand why he would tell me this, then come over to my house in the middle of the night and kiss me and act like there’s nothing wrong. If anyone has any ideas, let me know! 

Cat problems: My kitten Sookie, yes she’s named after True Blood, was killed. I raised her from a day or so old and I took it very hard. She was like my kid. I literally felt like I was losing a part of me. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t slept alone the entire time I had her. So I was lost and hadn’t been able to sleep very well. (Besides the boyfriend issues who also started around this time.) I now have a new loveable baby boy kitten. His name is Ranger. I will post pics soon! He’s so sweet and little. I know it’s sad but I’m very protective over him. My mom and dad thought he’d help with getting over Sookie. Honestly, the taking care of him has. So I’m very thankful. 

 

Vehicle Issues: Well, as none of you knew I had a piece Buick. I kinda ran it through a fence. Anyways, it’s bad. It’s not even legal. Now, I have been driving this thing for awhile now. I didn’t ask for anything for my birthday or graduation because we were going to Minnesota and i knew we needed the money. My lovely mommy surprised me with an 06 Chevy Silverado in brand new condition with only 33,000 miles on it. Pretty nice right? 🙂 

Other problems: I have now asked to become the assistant coach of the school I just graduated from. Honestly, couldn’t have more of a dream job except being head coach. But I wouldn’t want to do that to Ward.

This summer has definitely had its ups and downs. I’m not so sure I like being an adult anymore..