Stupid.

I haven’t had internet in awhile. So there goes that 30 day challenge. I’m mad/upset/happy? Johnnie and I had been fighting here recently. Over stupid little things. We’re finally back to normal. Thank God. I was so scared I was going to lose him. But I’m so tired of girls. They’re so twofaced sometimes. For example: My “Bestie” started dating my ex that she KNEW I still had feelings for. I told her we’ll still be friends and all that. Cause that just pretty much told me I’m never ever going after him ever ever ever again. Well, then Me and my other best friend went camping and Johnnie went with us and she was all over him! I mean seriously? That’s my boyfriend and I’m sitting RIGHT HERE! He was being his typical self of where he flirts but doesn’t mean anything by it, I mean hell he flirts with my mom and his best friend(who’s a dude) lol I don’t take anything wrong from it. But for some reason, I guess cause of her doing that I’ve been super jealous anytime he mentions her or something. I know I shouldn’t be cause he’s with me, but I don’t know I’m scared. I’m so used to them leaving me for someone else. Why not one of my friends? :/

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Softball and dirty rooms.

I’m watching the college world series right now. OU and Tennesse are playing for the championship. I’m okay with either team winning. (Even though I don’t really like OU.) They’re currently in the 9th inning, and there’s generally only 7 innings. They’re in extra innings. I love watching games like this. The cat is asleep on the couch and curled up in a ball. I’m surprised she normally tries to sleep in my lap or on my belly. I really want to go swimming. I haven’t gone all summer. Everyone else has. I’m like a hermit crab. I leave the house every once in awhile. I just want to go. It’s not like I can leave on my own, I don’t have a legal vehicle. And I don’t have my license which I’m ashamed to say considering I’m 18. It’s not my fault. Every time I make an appointment it gets cancelled. Oh well, I will eventually have it. So while I’m sitting here at home everyone else is enjoying their summer. I think I’m about to break a horse and ride it. I kinda miss riding. I haven’t been able to in a long time. Johnnie rides his all the time. So why can’t I? I don’t mean ride it to town or nothing. I mean just ride it for the hell of it and go where ever. I need to clean my room. Dad has been getting on my case about it. I know it needs clean. But I also know that I’ll never get it completely done and I also know that it’s just clothes. All of it. Literally just clothes everywhere. :/

Alright, Alright, Alright!

So we DID get to go to the rodeo. It was fun. Except my ex was there and he was only there cause he knew I’d go. Guess someone has been reading my blog? He was like in the background. I noticed him first. I wish we could’ve gone to the first night of it. It would’ve been a lot better. Johnnie is upset cause he lost his job. Although it wasn’t his fault. The guy said “it seems like you don’t want to work here.” The only reason he didn’t go to work was cause he was with us and it was too wet for him to go. Cause it required the ground being dry. But Oh well. He’ll find another one. He’s good at that. I have faith in him. My cat is sitting on my shoulder reading everything I type. I’m not sure why, but she is. I think it’s the movement of my hands that’s drawing her attention. I’ve been watching the Women’s College World Series, one of my favorite teams is in the championship and the other two are eliminated. That sucks. It’s pissing me off though. I know I can do just as good as some of them, and I won’t get that chance. It kills me. My sister has been mouthing me all freaking day about it. You could be doing that blah blah, but you’re throwing your talent away. I am NOT throwing my talent away. Mom won’t let me go to OBU (which after thinking about it I don’t mind.) and the only college that really wants me is Murray, but I’m already commited and signed up for classes with SOSU. Everyone thinks that I haven’t really said what I want to do, but I’m just not sure I can go to Murray. I don’t know..

Late Summer Nights(:

It’s 4 in the morning where I’m at. I’m wide awake. Why? Well, good question. I don’t sleep very well. Especially when I’m having knee pain out the whazoo. My friend Whitney came over, and she’s been asleep since around 11:30 ish. No one is awake to text me. Mallory normally is, but she’s definitely not awake. Loser. So I’m blowing up my twitter feed. Haha. It’s not as bad as last night. Whitney and I went fishing today, and I caught an eight pound bass. Caught some more, but they were runts. My new fishing pole is messed up, so I have to get Johnnie to look at it because I honestly don’t know what’s wrong. Normally I can fix them myself, but I have no clue what happened. Disapointing. I love my pole. We didn’t get to go to the magnolia festival. So we fished. Not that I’m complaining. I love to fish. But still. We’re supposed to go to a rodeo tomorrow, hopefully we can do that. I’m so tired of everyone else having an awesome summer and me being stuck at home like a hermit crab. It’s like everyone is all I’m going to the lake or I’m at the lake and I’m swimming and I’m all like I’m sitting on my butt looking at a computer.

 

Yeaahhh..